Most of them were immediately discarded, in my frustration, not even close to communicating what was on my mind. ![]() I’ve sat down to write something (anything) over a hundred times in the last week. Violating their privacy, their freedom, their body… causing emotional damage for sure, and often physical damage too.Īre they weak-minded? Or are they delusional and narcissistic? Is it truly too difficult for these men to control their desires, or is it that they don’t believe they can, don’t want to? Those that want what they want so bad they find ways to justify objectifying and even drugging their targets. It makes me consider all the men who can’t, or won’t, control their sexual impulses. I’m weak-minded in other ways, sure, but not in the manners that put others in harms way. I find ways to distract myself from those thoughts and inclinations, even if it means changing the topic or walking away. In the blink of an eye my mind dances through flashes of destructive insurrection, like an advertisement suggestively willing me to buy into the sensation of power it gives me.Ī part of me wants to step into it like a war-suit tailored to my every curve and comfort let it hug my body in it’s warmth and personalized strength– but I don’t. When the proper buttons of my emotional and mental tolerances have been pushed, there’s a surge of energy filled with violent implications. I struggle with violent impulses, black rage, of which I’m pleased to say I’ve never outwardly acted on.
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